What if...?

Two days ago, a CH-47 Chinook Helicopter flown by a crew from the 160th Special Operations Aviation regiment, carrying 25 members of Navy Seal Team 6, 7 Afghani soldiers and 1 interpreter crashed, killing all aboard. The crash was said to have been caused by Afghanistan insurgents.

The death of the on board personnel is a tragedy and once again reminds us of the high price our soldiers are paying, fighting a war that has no resolution in the distant future and, perhaps, never should have been declared in the first place. But that's a whole other rant.

Our nation mourns this loss collectively, as well as the families of the deceased who mourn as privately as possible in such a public arena. These dedicated, best of the best soldiers are heroes, every single one of them and I am sure their memorial services will reflect that and that's how we will remember them.

But...what if just one of those heroes killed two days ago was gay? What if he dedicated and sacrificed his life to serving his country to fight the greater good, died a hero and it was discovered he was a homosexual? Should those who believe homosexuality is immoral and deviant behavior honor him any less than his brothers who died with him? Does his being gay make his service to his country or his sacrifice less than his heterosexual colleagues? Should his male partner who has been faithfully by his side for most of his adult life and his non-biolgical children he has raised and supported since birth be treated any different than the widows and children of the other members of the team?

No, they shouldn't but they will be.

There will be no military family support for them. The military will not provide automatic grief counseling for the partner or the children of the fallen gay soldier. They will not provide tragedy assistance of any kind. They will receive no automatic survivor's benefits or personal assistance to help them cope as they move through the grieving process. They are not eligible to receive health or educational benefits offered to recognized bereaved spouses and dependents. They will not have access to any of the programs that may financially or emotionally help the spouse or the children through the process of adjustment. Their soldier gave all and they will get nothing because regardless of the sacrifices this family has made to stand by their soldier being the "best that he could be," they are neither acknowledged nor recognized by the military or the federal government.

The message this sends is clear. And very wrong.

So when you think about the soldiers who lose their lives fighting a war we shouldn't be in to begin with - just remember that the soldier who just sacrificed his or her life to protect your constitutional and basic human rights may not have those rights him/herself. That soldier's family is suffering the same loss and grief as other family members of the tragedy but they are being shut out and ostracized.

That soldier died the same way as everyone else but his family is being treated totally different.

What if that soldier was a member of your family? Would you stand by and let his memory be "tarnished" by a detail that, in no way, dictates what kind soldier he was? Would you stand by and agree with his partner and children who loved him as much as any family member loves their soldier being treated as though they are lesser than? This is happening every day.

And it is very, very wrong.

Repeal DOMA now.